I can’t help but to wait for fall…

Don’t look over that edge.
There is nothing to be seen,
but reasons not to jump
and the bodies of those who have failed.

-Dallas Clayton , Leap

Eyecandy 1

“ I’ve closed my heart down, so many seasons. I didn’t want to hurt again, I didn’t want to try, so I turned myself to ice and stone, said I don’t need anyone, and nobody else would ever make me cry.
— Beth Nielsen Chapman, Maybe it’s Love

If not for the fact that they were not acquaintances, not even the political smile when they see each other on the streets (often). What would have ensued after, with that close proximity between them, when their gaze met, would not be just them holding their gaze for more than a mere few seconds.

She would have put on her megawatt smile, tip toed and wrapped her arms around his neck; an indication for him to lean forward. So that her right cheek would be near his and ask…

Shortly after, she had to leave for another venue. Her eyes roamed around, hoping to catch his gaze for the last time, but to no avail.

He was always behind her when she turned around…

Edit: The drizzles that fall on the pavements, and those that dropped on her seems to be telling a story. A warm and cosy memory that went cold…

State of Emergency

          

 

From Vogue Italia, September 2006 edition.
Photographs by Steven Meisel

Reading Today in the morning about the Jakarta attacks remind me of the above editorial I once came across.

Secret Place

“We laugh and laugh, and nothing can ever be sad, no one can be lost, or dead, or far away: right now we are here, and nothing can mar our perfection, or steal the joy of this perfect moment.”
— Audrey Niffenegger (The Time Traveler’s Wife)

“Can I’ve two glasses of sky juice please, thanks?” He answered.

She was expecting this, and she embarrassedly covered her face with the menu trying to conceal and contain her laughter. While she was doing that, the waiter had a puzzled expression on him. It was only when he derived satisfaction, before he decided to explain to the waiter what he meant – plain water.

After the waiter left, she hit him with the cushion that was available on hand. He just smiled a toothy grin.

This was one of the many hilarious episodes during dinner that night.

The ambience of the alfresco dining area they were at was awesome. Two tables in front of them stood a swing. The support of the swing was entwined with man-made wallflower. The place was fenced in with sticks and sticks of bamboo, standing proudly with orange light casting on them from below. It made them look like they were in a garden. A secret garden to be exact, if you would to walk pass the blocks around them, you would never expect a cozy little restuarant in there.

“Candles on each table would make it perfect.” He said.

He was decked in a crisp white buttons down shirt with subtle vertical lines details, a pair of similar detailed pant that is coloured in grey and a pair of sneakers-like white loafer.

“Do not Google the place.” He requested, after giving in to her persuasion to tell her the name of the restaurant.

So, she decided to play it safe and was dressed in an all black ensemble – a LBD and flats. In case if it’s casual dining, she won’t be out of place.

“Cheers.” He proposed raising his glass, after the waiter carefully placed the glasses of red wine on the table.

“To healthy lifestyle.”

Well the food deserved another chapter all on its own. Till then, the full moon continues to illuminate the sparkle in their eyes…

Deja Vu

“I don’t know anyone who isn’t haunted by something or someone. And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet- our efforts usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest- finally, finally to rest.”
-Grey’s Anatomy

One night at the entrance of an alley situated around a popular nightspot full of shophouses, under the lamppost we stood. With a comfortable distance between us and you begin to talk about the past.

“I hurt my knee in the early of this week, and now my head is throbbing.” You said.

Then you pulled me closer to you, rested your head on my shoulder and had your right arm wrapped around my waist. You jokingly asked if I had grown taller, because you remember you can never do that in the past without accommodating to my height.

I took a deep breath, because this is too familiar and yet distant for me. I blinked and had my gaze fixated on the cement floor. The lights from the streetlamp cast a shadow, and I realise I saw… two silhouette – yours and mine. No longer was mine hidden from your overpowering surface area. I can see my own shadow.

On the way home, I found it hard to stare at the sight rushing by mainly because of the speed that we are travelling at, it gives me headaches. So I decided to have it roam around the car. I saw the air freshener at the left hand side of the front passenger seat. Then I realise, I did not smell any cologne on you. Not when we are at such a distant, not even when we were in close proximity.

There was no disappointment, knowing that the fact that you not wearing Davidoff does not pose a problem to me, was a huge realisation for me.

Soon we reached.

“It has been long since I walked you to the lift.” You said.

I smiled. You asked for a hug. I walk into the lift and wave goodbye.

“See you soon.” You ended before the lift door snap shuts.

For the first time as the digits on the screen on the top of the lift was increasing… I wasn’t thinking about how soon would your soon be…